Monday, August 14, 2006

Sunday Scribblings: Who Else Can I Still Be?

I never did the prompt about "Who I Might Have Been". There is just too much there to touch. I might have been anybody. I might have been a star. I might have been wildly successful in my industry. I might have gone to Parsons. I might have recorded in a studio. I might have not wed, and dated too many to count. I might have read more, or studied harder. I might have been better in every way, to every person. However- Thankfully, I didn't. Had I done all of those things, I would not have what I do today. And I have so much.

Today I have a family. I have a son that to me, is more beautiful than anything I could have ever imagined. I have a marriage that is perfect in it's imperfections, a marriage that will hold me and ground me and wrap me up. I have a home that to me exudes peace. It's away from this world and it has peices of the ones I love. I have sisters and brothers that all love each other. We support one another- we protect one another- we have love. I have mothers and fathers that provide. They provide love, leadership, opportunity, wisdom, endurance, and they are unconditional. I have faith and knowledge of who I am, where I came from. I know where I am going and I know why I am here. I have friends that are a tribe around me. They will be there when I am in need and they will be there to share lots of laughs along the way. I have talents- none that would blow anybody away- but they are talents that help me to enjoy each day. Because of my talents I enjoy music and movement. I enjoy colors and shapes. I enojoy nature. I enjoy details and lines. I love beauty and I see it in the most unexpected places.

So- Who else can I still be? I can be me. I can grow day by day and love every moment of this life. I can be a better person and I can acheive all that I want- except that when I acheive today, I have even more love and support surrounding me than I had yesterday. That is the most beautiful part of life to me. The unexpected. The ability that we have to change and mold. The fact that who I was then, and who I am now, is not who I will be later. That is a gift with endless possibily. Who else can I still be? I can be a wife and a mother. I can be a daughter and a sister. I can be a friend and a giver. I can be a soul searcher, a dancer, a singer, a lover, an artist, a dreamer, a doer, a planner, a shoe lover. I can be all the things that I am today and then some. I am in harmony with Brittany when she says, "Here's to full cirlcles." What could be more beutiful than that?

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Grateful Friday

Matching Without Planning It

Big Smiles

Firsts- In This Case, Krew's First Visit to the Beach

Tender Moments

Getting Away From it All- Three Cheers for No Cell Coverage at the Beach!

Truly Wonderful Naps

Friends You Can be Yourself With

Tiny Spirited Girls- I Know Lots of Them!

Pictures That Say a Thousand Words

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

SBC: Enclosed Spaces

The lifeless desert holds me captive. I seem to be enclosed in a wide open space. It is so hot, so dead, so dirty. While everyone else is outside playing in the summer, worshipping the sun, I stay indoors trapped under my own rooftop. How is one supposed to enjoy the summer (what used to be my favorite season) when all it seems to bring with it is sweat in every Orpheus? How may you suggest that I enjoy a dip in the pool, when the pool brings absolutely no refreshment as it has been warped by this lands devilish sun.

I ask myself- How can one be held captive in nature. Isn't it supposed to set me free? I long for a canopy of leaves and sponge soft grass. Even my dog feels the pressure of this heat, as I walk him to get the mail he bounds from one roofs shade to the next. I am trying to find love for this place, but at the end of each day I just feel stuck. Stuck inside. Clothes stuck to my hot body. Stuck wishing for something else, somewhere else. Stuck needing some fresh air. Stuck looking for the good in this place. Stuck living here for the rest of my life. Stuck to this hard earth, this ravenous desert that won't even let me sleep at night. Stuck rolling in the tumble weed blowing down my street! Please tell me how one feels closed in when I am in such a big beautiful world?

I guess we can't have it all. And I guess that just means that I need to work harder to find beauty around me. And I guess I will love every beautiful place even more when I am there, knowing that I will not always abide in those places. And I guess we do have some pretty sunsets here and there. And I guess maybe... Someday I will learn to love this land for what it offers. And I guess I do love the monsoons, and I cherish every drop of rain that I see. And I guess that maybe this land is really just teaching me how much I should love this earth for all that it gives- and I guess that maybe this sweet mother that I live on doesn't want me to feel so stuck.

Just the Four of Us

Our Family
Mom, Dad, and Krew

Mom, Krew, and Dutch

This is my family. Just 3 sweet boys and a girl. We have fun together and we fill eachothers lives. We like to be loud, we like to relax, we like to laugh, we like to go on walks to the mailbox, we like to play tug-o-war (well, Dutch mostly), and we like just being together. If one of us is missing life is never quite as beautiful, but together we are happy- just the four of us. Meet my Family. My love. My Rock. My peace. My happiness. My challenge. My joy. My everything.

My sister Brittany has a lovely blog too.